JHK’s Three-Act Play
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Went to Lowe’s Superstore to buy a water filter replacement for the fridge ($52!) and what should mine eyes behold after entering the joint and turning left into Lowe’s Wilderness of Christmas display — this horrifying effigy representing…uh… what, exactly? A leftover mutant from Halloween’s March of the Misbegotten? No, turns out this is Jack Frost of Western Civ folklore, described variously in literature as: king of the Winter Spirits. . . a kind fellow who wants to help children, whereas a king of a neighboring kingdom, King Winter, is cruel to them (Margaret Canby, 1874). . . a mischievous being responsible for the quieter phenomena of winter [such as] beautiful ice paintings on windows (Hannah Flagg Gould, 1836). . . a playful being who runs around playing pranks (Charles Sangster, 1875). . . you get the picture. Price tag is $199. But it looks like ol’ Jack Frost has evolved, now portrayed as a hedge fund veep stalking out of the Dead Rabbit bar (30 Water Street) after knocking back six appletini cocktails to celebrate a $57-million score on Malaysian mortgage futures. Such is the state of the great holiday in our temporarily psychotic Republic.
Thanks for visiting The Eyesore of the Month, and a merry Christmas to all!
It would truly be a nightmare to find this version of Jack Frost nipping at one’s nose. Hardly “king of the Winter Spirits. . . a kind fellow who wants to help children.” More like the unfortunate Batman-universe cross-up of Mr. Freeze and The Joker, or perhaps a vision of Hunter Biden with a nasty case of frostbite.
Degeneracy made visible. We’re beyond mere Entropy now.
Entropy is a natural force of decay. Degeneracy is willful.
Ol’ Jack looks like the sort of character White, college educated, woke women take their toddlers to for the story hour at their local library.
Some people will actually buy that thing and put it in their front yard, thinking that they’re being edgy & eclectic.
your right hecker,along with tattoos,nose rings,crazy hair,stupid clothes freaky facial hair among other gimmicks to seem edgy—sometimes I feel like on another planet than the one I knew—and some people think I am edgy because i carry a legal conceal carry around–we use to have guns around with no thought about it,in the car,in the home,etc…freakin world is crazy,ass backwards..
It kind of looks like Biden approaching a young girl in the White House.
My apple trees produced some very sweet fruit this year so I made 70 gallons of cider. Fermentation is turning all that natural sugar into hard cider which I planned to distribute to friends at Christmas. However, with the way I see things developing,I may just sit by the wood stove and drink until its gone.
A harrowing figure, putting an icy frost on the true spirit of Christmas, a figure more suitable for a spooky Halloween, although this crazed looking creature goes rather well with the garish Christmas tree behind him.
Yes, Jack is belting them back since his Malaysian score pales in comparison to Jho Low’s and former Prime Minister Najib Razak’s. With ice in his veins, he wanted more.
What anxieties will this frigid freak instill in the tiny tots with their eyes all aglow? Will Santa Claus himself soon be portrayed as some satanic monster taking kiddies on a ghastly slay ride?
This thing, this figure of frost should immediately be set afire, burning up its frozen, icy malevolence.
It’s time for cheer and delight, not fear and fright.