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Cankerpuss's avatar

First, we must have all of their wealth and property taken from them and then redistributed back to the taxpayers. Then, when they know they have lost it all, that's when they are strung up from lampposts.

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Blackbird's avatar

They have too much potential value to blight our city streets with their, bloated, fly-blown, cadavers. (Can you imagine the smell?!)

One word: "Dictator Zoo".

Would you rather keep re-watching the YouTube video where the Hildebeast's head finally pops off and her fetid carcass splatters on K Street... Or - would you prefer to lob rotten eggs at her as the Dictator Zoo rolls into town?

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Ron Anselmo's avatar

"One word: "Dictator Zoo"". ~ Blackbird

You've still got it. You'll never lose it. Funny AF.

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Blackbird's avatar

Oh, I lose it every once in awhile - but I always get it back!

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Ron Anselmo's avatar

Bird - you may need to repost the specifics on your "Dictator Zoo" idea, for all the "Stackers". It is of course legendary in CFN history - second only to my idea solving Elysianfield's retirement dilemma.

I solved it for him a few months back, with my "Bringing Reno to Elysianfield" idea. If you missed it, let me know, and I'll try to backtrack JHK's post. You, my friend, will love it.

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Blackbird's avatar

"...you may need to repost the specifics..."

Well, I could cook these Stackers up a mess o' fish sticks, or I could show them where the freezer section is.

"Bringing Reno to Elysianfield", isn't ringing a bell. Better send me a link.

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Ron Anselmo's avatar

elysianfield

elysianfieldтАЩs Substack

Jan 3

Well, ladies and germs;

I find myself at a crossroads. The ascension of Trump provides me, perhaps, with an opportunity that, had Trump been otherwise, I would not recognize. I have assets that, if liquidated in an orderly fashion, might, after taxes, break seven figures. I am a relatively healthy 78, no heirs, no obligations, no debts. The 100+ acreage I own on the Inner coastal range of Oregon ensures that I will not be impacted by the outrages soon to come. I have the largest machine shop in the county, and a good well, and 90+ producing fruit trees of all types suitable for the area. I am 20+ minutes driving at 40 mph from any small town. I have built this place for the obvious troubles that will eventually fall upon us all.

My question? Should I sell out, move to Reno, rent a furnished apartment, and spend the remainder of my days wallowing in the fleshpots of the area? They have a good library, several venues that spread poker games of various sizes, and some decent food at restaurants in the Casinos and otherwise. I am not a problem gambler...poker only, and I usually play at a break even level, at least. Sooo, what to do? I have been responsible all my life, and this would hardly qualify as responsible.

Hunker down for the remainder of my days, or Hookers and Blow (only without the hookers and blow)?

*********************************************************

Ron Anselmo

Ron Anselmo

Jan 5

E - I've got you on this.

Stay where you are and bring "Reno" to you. This sort of follows a business model that's been rattling around in my head. You're handy, build a three-story structure, maybe 50 x 50.

Now, where do strippers get "all over" tans? Probably tanning salons, right? But that gets expensive. The flat rooftop of the building is designed as a "sundeck" for strippers - a perimeter wall, so people can't peek in (freely), you know, if they climbed adjacent trees - pesky perverts.

The actual third floor is living quarters for the strippers, sort of dormitory-style or like a hostel. They can hang out up there, when they're not tanning or "working".

The actual second floor is a poker parlor, outfitted with tables and maybe some video poker machines, but they're so impersonal. Camaraderie and social interaction are just as important as the game, I think.

The actual ground floor is your living quarters, arranged however you like. The only design constraint is that your personal master bedroom has to layout beneath the pole.

Dammit, I almost forgot. All vertical access going up and down for poker patrons, is by an interior set of stairs. but the vertical means of access coming down for the strippers, is by a 3-1/2 story brass pole, that starts at the rooftop sundeck and bottoms out in your bedroom.

Are you picturing this? In the poker parlor, there is a fire alarm, and when someone pulls it, all the strippers tanning on the rooftop sundeck and in their rooms, run and slide down the brass pole.

There's an indicator telling them which floor the fire is on - either the second-floor poker parlor, in which case they all pile off there, and start dancing for the poker patrons, or the ground floor, in which case, they slide all the way down, and all pile off in your bedroom.

Now here's the innovative part - call it unconventional if you want. At the turn off from your main road - a 1/4 mile if I remember, build a small building, maybe 25 x 25, single-story, outfitted with 10 video monitors and rent drones, by the hour.

The drone rental patrons, on lower budgets - the poker parlor beyond their means - rent drones and buzz the naked strippers on the rooftop sundeck, dropping dollar bills to their favorites.

I have to admit, during the hysteria of Covid, while everyone else was freaking out, and the capricious definitions of essential businesses (strip joints, being one, but for some reason, not recognized as such) I tried to think of a way strippers could still make money, guys could still enjoy their talents, all while complying with the "social distancing" foolishness.

So, the genius of drone-dropping dollar bills to strippers on rooftop sundecks was born.

The revenue streams are thus. The poker parlor is self-supporting, because the house always wins. The meager winnings from the patrons, goes to the strippers during second floor "fires", so they can pay you rent on their third-floor accommodations. Finally, the drone rentals are additional passive income.

There you go. You can do this E! You're already a legend, but if you develop this visionary model, you'll go down in history. It's sort of mash up of Hefner's hedonism, Musk's visionary talents and some Meyer Lansky mixed in.

BTW, looking for a GM position. :-)

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Blackbird's avatar

You've obviously put some thought into this.

Scratch the video poker. It ain't poker without players.

Dollars-by-Drone might have some trouble of a windy day - tipping the wrong stripper being the least of them. But if you put weights on the dollars, that could cause even more trouble.

ely will also need someone to rub tanning oil on the lovely ladies. While I am currently gainfully employed, I might consider relocating if the price is right. Work as a volunteer? Well, ummm, I... What's the address?

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Dennis L. Merwood's avatar

The legendary investorтАЩs Warren Buffett quest is to give away more than 99% of his fortune continues. So far, heтАЩs donated more than $40 billion where itтАЩs being put to work on poverty and healthcare initiatives in the U.S. and developing countries.

The former New York City mayor and Bloomberg LP cofounder has poured more than $11 billion into charitable causes, focusing on climate change, gun control and public health. HeтАЩs spent more than $1 billion to curb tobacco use over the last decade, and in 2018 announced a $1.8 billion pledge to Johns Hopkins University. In September, Bloomberg also announced a $100 million pledge over the next four years to fund scholarships at four historically Black medical schools.

Leonard Lauder the elder son of makeup maven Estee Lauder gave his massive Cubist art collectionтАФworth more than $1 billionтАФto the Metropolitan Museum of Art in 2013. He raised millions for the Alzheimer's Drug Discovery Foundation. The organization has awarded more than $150 million in funding for research on AlzheimerтАЩs disease at biotech companies and academic centers in 19 countries.

The Oklahoma oil and banking baron George Kaiser is the largest philanthropist in his state. Focused on his home city of Tulsa, his George Kaiser Family Foundation has paid out nearly $1.3 billion in contributions and grants to childhood education and community health programs in the city.

And this is just the tip of the philanthropist iceberg Cankerpuss.

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Cankerpuss's avatar

Oh give me a break. Rich people like Warran Buffett and Michael Bloomberg giving away hundreds of millions of dollars is like me giving a thousand dollars to charity. It's easy to give away millions and millions when there are billions resting in a bank account making millions every year in interest alone. Besides, the only reason they give this money away is they'd rather it go to the causes of their choice rather than to the Federal Government. There is nothing noble about what they give away because of what they keep hidden away.

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Dennis L. Merwood's avatar

How many millions have you given to worthy causes such as medical research Cankerpuss?

Your problem is that you HATE successful people because you are a redneck loser! You think everybody else is an asshole just like you.

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Cankerpuss's avatar

Well, Mr. Merwood, as I alluded to in my previous posting, I cannot contribute millions to a worthy charity because I am not one of those fortunate enough to be a millionaire. I have, however, given thousands of dollars to various charities and churches over my lifetime. I believe in tithing and have always given 10% of my wealth. Like I said before, it would be easy to fork over 100 million to my charity of choosing as long as I keep that 1 billion resting in my savings account drawing millions in interest each year. These wealthy people don't SACRIFICE a damned thing and you damned well know it.

When I think people are assholes I am going to call them assholes. You sir, are a bonafide stinking asshole. A real pantload. A pile among piles.

Rocky Mountain redneck I am and proud of it!

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Dennis L. Merwood's avatar

How Christian of you!

1st Grade ditty: "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me!"

Yeah of course, if the universe had a cause - then it means that YOUR "God" was the cause. So, of all the hundreds of "Gods", it was your "God" who created and fine-tuned the Universe. And 13-billion years later he sneaked some poorly written contradictory scriptures to a few illiterate humans on a teeny tiny planet so that all of the Universe would know him. Give me a fuckin break! Its total bullshit!

And you are paying your hard-earned money to be brainwashed with this nonsense every Sunday. What does this tell us about you?

There truly is no hate quite like Christians Love! Religious folk prove every day that arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand. I'm still waiting for you to say something, anything, positive about one of your fellowmen. You are filled with hate.

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Ben's avatar

Well, you sure prove his point as you think the same thing.

Oh, the irony of one asshole calling another you know an ASSHOLE.

Yep, I done it but I also see it.

fellow assholes wear the name proudly.

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grand funk's avatar

He and his ex wife. funding abortions. by the millions?

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Dennis L. Merwood's avatar

What's wrong with that?

You would rather have desperate women going into back alleys and having someone use a coat hanger?

Why am I guessing you are a man?

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