The Clusterfuck Nation Chronicle

Commentary on the Flux of Events

Seen on the boob tube this morning at the YMCA locker room: commercial for a new Cheetos cracker product, this one stamped out to look like a little orange basketball. Screen shows stereotypical couch-potato slob lounging before the TV gobbling the product. Voice-over says: "You may not be in shape for basketball, but they are [the Cheetos]."

Next, story about AndreaYates, the Texas woman who drowned all of her children. Her defense is apparently going to be that she drowned them in order to hurry them up to heaven because they were in danger of being overtaken by Satan. Oh, okay. We understand now. We'll call this the Sunbelt defense from now on, in honor of a part of the country where it is often too hot to think.

Next item: the crematory owner in Georgia who is accused of failing to carry out his business obligations is claiming in his defense that the crematory equipment was broken. Well, I guess that explains those 300+ bodies strewn over 16 acres. Next case. . . . By the way, the state of Georgia is spending half a million dollars a day at the site rescuing the dead.

Meanwhile, watch that stock market rocket up. Maybe Satan is in the mood to buy.