February 2000 | Eyesore

Commentary on architectural blunders in monthly serial.

A classic ensemble in downtown Milwaukee captures the spirit of the PREVIOUS CENTURY. Are we clear about that? The 20th century is OVER. We don't have to do it this way anymore.

Those three rectangles near the bottom of the building -- they're ventilation grills. Casual passers-by better have a lot going on in their own heads, because in this part of town there's not much stimulation coming from outside. That's why schizophrenics do so well in this sort of environment -- there are few distractions from internal conversations, paranoid delusions, and ecstatic visions of Jesus on a sesame bun. To make it all extra-nice, you get the environmentally-correct deployment of "green space" around the edge of the block. Yippie. Bring out the picnic baskets! The cherry-on-top is the flagpole, a patriotic lucky charm for warding off criticism.