December 2023 | Eyesore

Commentary on architectural blunders in monthly serial.

Went to Lowe’s Superstore to buy a water filter replacement for the fridge ($52!) and what should mine eyes behold after entering the joint and turning left into Lowe’s Wilderness of Christmas display — this horrifying effigy representing…uh… what, exactly? A leftover mutant from Halloween’s March of the Misbegotten? No, turns out this is Jack Frost of Western  Civ folklore, described variously in literature as: king of the Winter Spirits. . . a kind fellow who wants to help children, whereas a king of a neighboring kingdom, King Winter, is cruel to them (Margaret Canby, 1874). . . a mischievous being responsible for the quieter phenomena of winter [such as] beautiful ice paintings on windows (Hannah Flagg Gould, 1836). . . a playful being who runs around playing pranks (Charles Sangster, 1875). . . you get the picture. Price tag is $199. But it looks like ol’ Jack Frost has evolved, now portrayed  as a hedge fund veep stalking out of the Dead Rabbit bar (30 Water Street) after knocking back six appletini cocktails to celebrate a $57-million score on Malaysian mortgage futures. Such is the state of the great holiday in our temporarily psychotic Republic.

Thanks for visiting The Eyesore of the Month, and a merry Christmas to all!