February 2020 | Eyesore

Commentary on architectural blunders in monthly serial.

Behold the Court of Justice (Provincial Offenses Office, no kidding), Brantford, Ontario, in Canada, our neighbor to the north. Kind of looks like a water-boarding salon. Or maybe try a relaxing session in the Iron Maiden sensory deprivation casket! Tired of manicures? Have your fingernails removed altogether up in the second floor confessional spa. Ever notice that our buildings “speak” to us. Well, not like pals at the brew-pub, of course, but they do get their point across. Has the Western world ever seen a building as brutal, cold, and tyrannical as this doozie? I sure wouldn’t want to break the new personal gender pronoun law they passed a few years ago, with its rather severe penalties. By the way, notice the little gray door just off the ground floor corner? My Gawd, what comes in-and-out of there at two-thirty in the morning? Demetrius Kappos, who nominated this humdinger, points out that Brantford, Ont, is the hometown of Alexander Graham Bell and Wayne Gretzky. All honor to them… I guess.