Rude Awakening

Aug 09, 2019

Clusterfuck Nation
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Now that everyone and everything not “woke” is a racist, a white supremacist, and a domestic terrorist, the mau-mauing of America is complete. The mug of strong English tea on my desk (a beverage from the worst modern colonialist nation) happens to be white. It is ashamed and disgusted by its privilege of holding captive eight ounces of a beverage-of-color. The beverage’s final indignity, of course, is to be ingested in my white body, and turned into countless chemical reactions there that benefit me while annihilating the beverage’s existence, which surely amounts to cultural appropriation, a kind of servitude, and ultimately murder! My wickedness will never be forgiven. Ironically, I drink strong English tea at 6:50 a.m. in order to get “woke.” Maybe I should switch to Yogi Detox Tea. (Warm milk would only accentuate my loathsome privilege and put me back to sleep.)

You see, I’m trying to imagine something like the thought process of the average Wokester. If the Left were a person, it would be in a locked ward by now on twenty milligrams of haloperidol QID. But we gave up on mental hospitals decades ago. So, the Left is on the loose out there in streets, threatening to “stab motherfuckers in the heart” one moment and ululating against gun violence in the next. I suppose stabbing motherfuckers in the heart is progressive because it allows you to get up-close-and-personal and share your lived experience with the motherfucker in question just prior to inserting the blade. Guns are so… white!

Pretty soon, America might have to start asking: what exactly is “progressive” about going insane? I think we’re getting close to answering that, and the answer is: nothing. The Left has managed to drain the meaning from the word “progressive.” We will not be able to take it seriously for generations to come (if there are any generations to come). The Left has applied every possible gimmick from the bad faith trick-bag to disable thinking in this republic generally, and the language that serves thinking. But its contorted maledictions are working mainly against itself as one preposterous idea after another bursts out of its collective pie-hole and into the blue-checked Twitter windows.

Speaking of “stabbing motherfuckers in the heart,” why are the “progressives” who moiled outside Senator Mitch McConnell’s house the other night not cooling their heels in a federal lock-up for threatening to assassinate a public official? That’s the usual procedure. How difficult would it be to locate them? Nobody has even asked — a peculiar development.

Twitter boss Jack Dorsey took the predictable “progressive” action of banning Senator McConnell’s election campaign account for posting a video of the very mob looking to “stab motherfuckers in the heart” outside his house. That should be good, at least, for a hearty lawsuit against Twitter that might raise the consciousness of the 23-year-old wokester myrmidons Jack Dorsey hired to pretend that their diligent bannings of non-woke Tweeters are the work of supposed “algorithms” — as well as Mr. Dorsey himself, the arrogant prick behind it all.

Any decent psychological detective can conclude why the Left, including especially the Democratic Party — formerly a pillar of our political system — has gone insane. Losing a national election two and half years ago traumatized the base. In the process, the party made the rueful discovery that it was devoid of reality-based political ideas. This prompted the adoption of reality-optional excuses for failure masquerading as political ideas: Russia did it! Trump was “Putin’s puppet.” That clinically paranoid meme, and the massive investigatory activity it provoked, ended in more failure, so profound that the party still can’t face it.

But the Democratic Party must sense that it is about to be held accountable for all that. The Deep State officials who acted out that shadow-play on its behalf, with all its seditious overtones, are about to be frog-marched into the grand juries any week now. The party itself, or at least its executive gang, the DNC, may be included in the clean-up operation. It’s really hard to see how the party survives that. Its loyal historians will probably say that some motherfucker stabbed it in the heart. More factually, the Democratic Party first lost its mind, and then committed suicide.

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