December 2014 | Eyesore

Commentary on architectural blunders in monthly serial.

Behold the grandiosity of the George Lucas Museum of Narrative Art proposed for the Chicago lakefront. It is unclear exactly what it might contain besides the costumes and props for Lucas’s Star Wars cinema franchise. The public relations bullshit cooked up to promote this roughly 30–story-tall monstrosity tells the tale in superlative bombast:

The Lucas Museum design is both futuristic and timeless. Its continuous, undulating organic surface blurs the line between structure and landscape. As the harbor rises up to the land, it merges with stone surfaces that reach up to the sky and ultimately crescendo into a “floating” disc. The Museum is not an isolated object, but a spatial experience that is defined by the people who occupy it and interact with it. Its organic surface is made of a single material, a stone as primitive as it is futuristic, evoking the great achievements of architectural history.

How’s that for grad-school blather? It’s really as simple as this: George Lucas is into sic-fi, therefore his memorial ought to look like a UFO. They didn’t say that of course. But then, American culture flew up its own bung-chute years ago. We’re addicted to lying, confabulating, and putting over techno-narcissistic show-off stunts. To really make it perfect, Lucas ought to have his remains encased in an acrylic block and displayed for posterity along with R2D2 and the original Chewbacca suit.

Below is a map showing the growing architectural clutter south of Grant Park. The Lucas Museum site is at Number 5.

Remember, societies build their most grandiose monuments just before they collapse.